Giving “Good” Attention and Enjoying “Good” Behavior

MOM+KIDS_croppedSome time during the 2013 holiday season, I caught myself in this cycle of FORGETTING to give attention to my kids when things are going well, when they are “behaving”, when they are acting in ways that I like: Kind, helpful, resourceful, loving, respectful, fun, etc.

Instead, my energy is in greatest outflow towards kids when there’s a situation to handle. Not surprisingly, kids who want my attention are, consciously or subconsciously, creating “situations” to get my attention: Tears, fighting, complaining, tattling, or just plain throwing a fit.

This stinks.

For everyone.

It’s a bad habit and I want to change it.

There’s a technique I’ve used to change other habits. So I’m trying it here. Basically, I start an “observation journal” about the habit I want to change. And I write in the journal every day and I record my observations  WITHOUT JUDGEMENT.

The purpose is to raise awareness and learn. It’s not about trying to make myself feel worse, or beat myself up. We all get enough of that. And as it turns out, raising awareness to a habit, brings about positive changes. It helps us create new habits that are better.

In the days/weeks that come, I’ll be posting some entries from my observation journal to this blog.


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